So… I had a bit of a challenging day yesterday, even with all my optimism and hope and deep breathing and gratitude.

Today, I woke up earlier than I should have. My old back injury was still tweaked from the night before. Took something for that and eventually fell back asleep, only to have lucid dreams/nightmares for two solid hours until the timer went off to remind me of my virtual appointment with my nurse practitioner.

I don’t want to go into the contents of the dreams in TOO much detail, because I don’t need that energy getting all up in my blog. But they weren’t pleasant, to say the least.

There was one reprieve where I found myself in a room with a couple friendly dudes and thought maybe I could just stay there and be safe. But for some dream-logic reason, I wandered off.

Old recurring nightmare situation from childhood.

Moving on.

The appointment I think went pretty well. I shared some life updates, and we circled back to whether or not I want to change any of my meds. We’re gonna try something a little different to see if it can lift me up out of this phunk.

Then, I nabbed the last of the laundry, and picked up some deeply discounted Noodles, with a birthday coupon I hadn’t yet used. So many birthday coupons… I still have A&W and Perkins waiting. LOL.

I hadn’t asked for a fork, so I had to go home to eat. Otherwise I might’ve eaten in the parking lot and taken care of some other stuff in the area. I suppose I could’ve gone back inside and asked for one. Alas.

I am actually losing track of how many trips I made away from home today. Hm. At some point, I researched cat carriers and went to get a new one for Miss Kitty (not her real name). She has an appointment bright and early tomorrow morning, and I’d like her to look her best.

Surprisingly, she even sat still for a fairly thorough brushing today, which she typically detests. So tomorrow, I’ll find out if she’s putting on any weight yet, and I can get her more of the VERY good cat food and flavored probiotic powder. I don’t know what they put in the powder for flavor, but she likes it more than the food!

She also poked into her new carrier at one point and just kinda chilled. So I guess she likes it. Good deal.

I set up her appointment today, too. So pleased we were able to get in that fast, with a booking the next day.

What else… tried to rest a little more, and baby my back by laying down in a position I don’t normally use. Eventually got hungry for something more filling than what I had left for food.

There was a lot of decision paralysis there. It was raining pretty heavily. I didn’t want to drive in it, but I didn’t want to make anyone ELSE drive in it to deliver to me. And delivery is so expensive…

Eventually, the rain slowed to a fine mist, and I headed out for what I think was the third time. Picked up drive thru and debated the wisdom of having an art print looked at to see how exactly one would hang it with the existing hardware. But I didn’t want to chance getting the paper backing wet.

I did, however, pop into 5 Below for some cheer-me-up magnets for my refrigerator. Kind of an Artist’s Date a la The Artist’s Way. I wanna check out a local art museum too before the end of June to see a Pride exhibit, among other things.

They had other cute magnets, too, but those two were my faves. There were Barbie magnets, also, but they didn’t seem as pithy. If they’d had a nice one that said “Hi, Barbie” I would have bought it.

BUT… I discovered I still have a magnet from my previous HMO that I could easily GLUE things onto and turn it into any kind of magnet I want!

What would *I* look like in Barbie form? Now there’s an interesting question. What flavor/career Barbie would I be?

That might be more fun as a jumping off point for a creative project than any possible copyright infringement LOL.

I’m laughing, but today was tough.

My nurse asked if I could keep myself safe. I said, “I think so.” And I reassured her, “I’ve got peeps.” She made me promise to talk to “at least one peep” today.

Kiddo checked in at some point, and I sent a cool pic I’d seen online, to my long distance bestie. Bestie and I chatted a bit. AND I got a pic from another friend/former coworker to show me something super rad that I may need to pick up when funds allow. But I imagine it’s only like $10 or so. Small card game.

Oh, and while I was at home, I FINALLY laced my work shoes so they won’t feel so tight across the top of my foot. I found a whole thing about that online. That depending on the shape of your foot, different lacing methods work better. They’re MUCH more comfortable. I may still undo the first couple eyelet rows, if they’re tricky to slip in and out of with socks on. Even at that, it was a big improvement.

HEY Canva has officially licensed Barbie graphics! Super cool!

Here’s what I came up with as traditional blonde Barbie:

Will have to contemplate myself in doll form further!!!

Naturally now that the day is coming to a close, I feel a bit better. Me and nighttime. BUT… what am I thankful for today?

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GRATITUDE LIST FOR TODAY:

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• Simple pleasures like Barbie and Ken magnets/graphics, the sheer joy of pink, and the second magnet I bought that reminds me of zine art
• Birthday joy continuing in small ways even after kiddo has gone home, with discounted Noodles and such.
• Peace of mind that hopefully I will soon have some answers about the cat, and ideas on where to go from here, and the thrill that I was able to get her a brand new (and adorable) carrier, with matching to the discounted online price

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Alright, maybe I will see about sorting through some more clothes, now that I’m in for the night. Sending y’all a bit of belief that we can ALL do big things. And small things. Sometimes you gotta start small. But I believe.