Christmas, Round One

Due to a lack of planning and things being closed early on Christmas Eve (for good reason), and my own desire to get home before it was fully dark (didn’t quite make it), I ended up driving home from my parents’ house hungry and cold.

I drove straight home rather than trying for an open drive-thru because the roads are a little bit scary yet… once I finished bawling in my car in their driveway.

The gift exchange was good! They liked their presents, and I liked mine, though the clothes I will have to exchange for one size up. Had they been pants they would’ve fit, but my top size is bigger. But they also gave me some gift cards, and my mom picked out some nice foaming hand soap in fun winter scents.

My mom and I had a lot of fun playing with her Golden Girls Mad Libs, and she put her Blanche/Rose, Dirty/Clean magnet on the dishwasher right away. We also tried out Buildzi, though she found it a lot easier to play flat rather than stacking to make the tower. She said she still enjoyed it.

I hung the Dorothy Christmas ornament on the tree, immediately out of the box. My mom placed the Stay Golden coffee mug in the cabinet with care. She seemed more interested in streaming the new Knives Out movie than Golden Girls. Maybe one day soon, we’ll bust out the Golden Girls Bingo, where you mark off your card when certain motifs appear onscreen.

My dad loved his gift baskets– a selection of Seroogy’s chocolates and some fruits, nuts, cheeses, jams, and more from the grocery store. And he had apparently read through some of the book I bought him while browsing Amazon.

There were no plans made for a meal, for until tomorrow, and I am almost out of groceries at home, yet again. My mom did offer at the zero hour to heat up some burger patties, but it was already almost pitch black outside by then. I suppose I could’ve asked to take a patty home with me, but I didn’t think of that until I got home.

In any case, I cried in my car a bit then got it together and drove home, only to overreact and rage in the kitchen, slamming frying pans around, and so on. My mom had meant for us to order in, I think, but hadn’t planned on everything closing. She seemed to want to approach everything with a more leisurely pace. I, however, was on a mission to bond with my family then get home early.

I could’ve planned better, too, and had more food on hand; I’m also low on gas and trying to minimize driving as much as possible not only for that reason but also the state of the roads. My driving anxiety has been AWFUL lately. I don’t relax until the car is parked and turned off.

Tomorrow, I will get gas, and there will be the big, planned-for family feast. There may even be leftovers. Tonight was just hard; nonetheless, after making my rage-infused sausage strips and eggs-in-a-basket swimming in hot sauce, I chilled a bit on the couch. Still hungry, I wanted something else warm and decided on French toast.

My recent French toast experiments also include using instant Chai Latte mix and oat milk in the batter. Outstanding. Tonight, I did peanut butter in a one-to-one ratio with the egg, then added oat milk and tried to stir it smooth (still a little lumpy). Cooked it up and served with strawberry jam on top. SO DELICIOUS!!!

My daughter at one point also reminded me that I still have the kitties. One of them nestled in fairly close to my face while I was on the couch, as you can see above.

So, even if Christmas Eve didn’t go off without a hitch, even if I came home shivering and hungry– wearing a lot of sequins and not dressed for the cold but looking pretty fabulous– I’m still thankful I did make it to my parents’ house today to see them and watch as they opened their gifts.

There’s still stuff I gave my mom that we haven’t tried yet, so I’m anxious to see what she makes of the rest of it. I got some games for myself, too, to play mainly with her, which I’ll bring over at some point.

I’m thankful my daughter stays in touch, even if from far away. She’s got a bad head cold or something right now. Wishing her healing and rest.

I’m thankful for a warm place to sleep and for finding creative ways to use the groceries I have to make something amazing– it was kind of like a more pillowy fried PB&J.

I’m thankful for the kitties, and will have to get a picture of the other one on here soon. I suppose I could also get some pics of the Golden Girls goodness!

Honestly, I suppose it was easier to be angry and hurt and frustrated with poor planning than really face that my daughter isn’t around and that I won’t see her until spring or summer.

My parents have each other. My daughter has her boyfriend and his family. It’s a tough time of year to feel alone. Maybe in 2023 I’ll step further out of my comfort zone and make some new friends. Ideally, I’ll even have a date or two.

I’m grateful that I’m gradually becoming more confident and will hopefully have a better mindset with which to approach any future dating. Come what may, my longtime best friend always sees me through the ups and downs, though, so I’m sure I’ll be okay. Maybe knowing that will give me more courage to take more chances as they occur.

I wish you well, and hope you, too, look to the new year expectantly. May it bring you many blessings. Cheers!