Is Art Actually Attractive?

Some time yesterday, a friend of mine nominated me for a thing on social media, where you post one of your own pieces of art a day for 10 days. I’ve had a lot of fun poring over old pictures, looking for photographs of my art.

It brought back a lot of memories, too. The first thing I shared was some chalk art I made many, many years ago, when my daughter was growing up. Here, you see a zoomed-in portion of it– the face, with my shoes for a sense of scale on its size. I drew the whole body.

She and her friends used to love drawing with chalk with me. We’d sometimes paint indoors and make other things, too, and eventually, I had magnetic poetry on the back of the door which people would sometimes play with when they stopped over.

I guess that’s both a happy and a sad thing… I’m happy that we made those memories together, and sad that kiddo is so far away. But I’m still really proud of her for facing anxiety and fear and packing up and starting over, making a go of it. She inspires me in countless ways every day.

Today, I woke up long before I meant to, though not at a completely unheard of hour. Looked at some more art. Made another post, then scrolled through some reels.

There was a really funny one about a guy who had someone point out to him that Taco Bell isn’t authentic Mexican food. It escalated quickly into full-on dark, DARK humor. Very enjoyable. And the hypothetical Taco Bell cook in his stream of consciousness rant had the same first name as kiddo’s boyfriend, so I had to share it with her.

Among other points of interest, I came across something on Instagram. “Are They Actually Attractive,” the Boy Jr. song, or a clip of it, which has been out for awhile (but was new to me). You can watch/listen to the whole thing on YouTube if you look it up.

My taste in potential partners isn’t as unique as I would have suspected. LOL! The lyrics in the song hit SO many of the details I find appealing in other people. Skaters, musicians, peeps with badass tattoos or funky-colored hair, peeps who wear vintage, etc.

Anyway that gave me a momentary chuckle. I’m grateful for such everyday humor. Love and romance both remain a bit of a mystery to me; a good friend pointed out I may just miss feeling in love without feeling the need for a relationship, because they are definitely distinct experiences. We will see. Perhaps one day I will settle in with someone.

I’m sorry I’ve been quiet here on the blog. I’ve been battling hardcore depression, especially at night, and just felt like hiding. And I felt like maybe there wasn’t anything left to feel grateful for, or like it was painful to even think in terms of gratitude.

Depression lies and tells you all kinds of things. I am thankful for everyone who provided me with emotional and practical support over the past several days I’ve been away from here, even if I may have seemed frustrated that there was no easy “fix” for my feelings. I certainly WAS frustrated, with myself and the situation, and that probably spilled over a bit toward everyone else. I’m sorry.

Lots to work on, like regaining and maintaining a sense of independence even when there are times I might need to not be home alone for safety reasons, as was the case recently. Accepting just the help I need and setting and maintaining clear boundaries. And so on. I will work on all of that.

Have a great day! I hope you enjoy the bit of my chalk art. Look up that video if you get a chance.

And don’t be afraid to leave your mark on the world, even if the rain might later wash it away. Nothing’s ever truly lost, in spite of the impermanence of life. I truly believe that. It all just becomes something else, further on down the line.

Even the act of its unmaking possesses an element of creativity, by making space for new growth and fresh ideas.