Even Vampires Get the Blues

I have kind of a lot I want to get done today, so what did I do first? Build a fresh playlist on Spotify LOL.

It all started with John Lee Hooker’s “I’m in the Mood,” which might have fit nicely on another one of my playlists, but I didn’t want to make that one any longer.

A little Type O Negative, lots of Tom Waits and Hozier and some Gary Numan… some more blues… some Dead Can Dance. Something off the soundtrack to the amazing Only Lovers Left Alive. It’s good stuff.

Definitely NOT a cup of raging positivity with which to start your day, but hauntingly beautiful. And sometimes, that’s where my mood takes me.

I haven’t really made breakfast yet, and honestly, by now, it’s gonna be lunch. But I sipped on a couple cups of coffee with chicory (even figured out how to disassemble and clean my ancient French press to brew it). And I had a handful of trail mix.

I’m dressed. I ran my fingers through my hair. And I took out some garbage. Planning my next moves…

The last time I talked to my therapist, we resolved that I need to go through my DBT workbook every day and pick a skill to practice. I’m really not looking forward to it (and haven’t yet started… heh). But I can see where it would be beneficial.

I’ve definitely had a lot of negative thoughts powered by emotion that didn’t fit the facts of the situation lately. Thinking that it was somehow my fault that nearly everyone I know is going through stuff right now and that no one has the bandwidth left to lend support (this turned out very much not to be the case, when I offered support in turn).

Also, when I mentioned this to my daughter, she said “No, it’s not your fault life is hard. Life is just hard. And it would be hard with or without you. But a lot harder without you.” That was very helpful to hear.

Alright, stepped away a moment to reheat some beef fajita stuff. I’ll have to run by the store for something for dinner for tonight, but I did pick up the last of my prescriptions yesterday, with literally like 5 minutes to spare before they closed. So that’s done.

Today, I’m thankful for my support system, both the professional/medical side and the personal side.

I’m also super excited and maybe a little nervous to be trying to run Vampire: The Masquerade the RPG for two of my long-distance Dungeons and Dragons buds.

I’m a bit stressed about calculating what they need for dice pools for all of their decisions, but I think if I study up a bit more on what the stats mean and how they apply, I’ll feel more confident. But YAY vampires!!!