Have Ticket, Will Travel

Today, I’m especially thankful that we’re starting to solidify all the necessary practicalities to go visit my daughter this summer, for her birthday. She came up here to see me for my birthday last summer. Seems like it’s only right we celebrate hers this time around.

I’ll be traveling with my mom. There are still some more arrangements to be made, but the trip is a-ways off yet. In any case, we hope to have accommodations secured next week.

I never would have been able to accomplish all of this without my mom’s assistance. Hopefully *fingers crossed* it’s still available when we’re ready to put down a deposit, but I found a lovely place for us to stay.

Most importantly, I’ll be with kiddo on her special day, no matter where we stay or what we do.

I’ll admit I stalled out a bit on the love letters project. Been feeling a little crispy around the edges again lately. I was hitting the writing pretty hard, though, so I guess that’s understandable. Maybe I will write some more tonight.

Also had dinner out and about to celebrate Pi Day yesterday and had a delicious slice of coconut cream pie.

Followed that up by streaming The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. I’m guessing the title is a throwback to The Unbearable Lightness of Being? Anyway it’s a pretty rad movie.

Back on March 6th I had the most amazingly productive day. I’ve been a little harsh with myself that I haven’t been able to duplicate that level of rock star achievement. I mentioned that to my daughter, and she said she has about one day like that a month. The rest are more of a challenge.

Struggling to find that balance between loving and accepting myself where I am on any given day, while still pushing myself at least a little to get things done. I reckon that’s a struggle a lot of people experience, however.

Where does that leave me for today?

Dinner hath been made. I fed the cats this morning and overhauled their box. They’ll need dinner, too, later, but my feline overlords are content for the time being lol. All that remains is ending the day to my own satisfaction.

Ooooh that gave me the inspired idea to add Devo’s cover of “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” to the playlist I have on right now.

Correlation? HA!

Honestly I would say my frustration is less about missing that type of satisfaction and more about fatigue and winter, and they definitely interrelate. Sure, a bit of sugar-rush flirting would be fun, but you can mimic that buzz with the right tunes and some sunlight. Maybe some chocolate and/or caffeine. Given, yes, there’s more to actual relationships than that, but that’s kinda where I’ve struggled in the past.

For whatever reason, tonight I find myself turning to one of my roll-in-the-misery-of-it-all playlists. It’s angst-ridden and rebellious. I’m finding it comforting rather than depressing, perhaps because I was very down the day before yesterday.

It’s reassuring to know someone else has been where you are or where you were. I’m so thankful for all the artists whose work inspires me to keep going every day. I promise, though, that if the balance tips and the songs start making me sad, I’ll do something else instead, tonight.

After all, there’s also new Mandalorian to watch!

I guess it’s just good to feel heard, especially by creatives you admire.

The people in my life definitely fill that role, as well, but it’s great to have something you can turn to when you’re by yourself, beyond a phone call or a text.

I would even go so far as to say they fulfill different needs, in a sense, or maybe similar needs in different ways. Either way, I need both.

I think maybe I would explain it this way: I consume art (music, literature, movies, etc.) to nourish my sense of myself, in relation to myself and my perceived place in the grand scheme of things.

Sharing support with loved ones requires more effort, but it’s rewarding in a different way, because it helps build and strengthen your bonds with others, not just with a less-immediately-tangible internalization of the universe as a whole.

More literally, you get hugs and fist bumps and high fives from your friends, but not from your favorite Spotify artists. That grounded physical touch is important, too. Even just trading smiles and jokes (or tears) and sharing physical and emotional space makes a difference, in ways that art alone cannot.

Anyway, that’s how I see it. Just philosophizing a bit.

I get that there are people out there who don’t rely on the arts for sustenance, but it’s something I can’t fully grok. Like, how? LOL. Still, to each their own.

What are your thoughts? How do you relate to art? How does it feel different from how you relate to friends and family? Does it feel the same? I’m curious to hear what y’all think. Chime in, in comments, if you feel so moved.

Keep it real!