Let me count the ways…

Continuing to work on having an attitude of gratitude. In honor of those efforts and this blog (and because it was on a DEEP clearance discount, and I had a reward for $10 off on top of that), I picked up a cute t-shirt that says “ALWAYS GRATEFUL.” You can see the top of it in one of the selfies in the featured image for this post.

The other day, I did a gratitude meditation in my car before heading in to work. At the end, the instructor asked you to write a list of 3 things you were grateful for. My daughter was my number one. I suppose that’s pretty natural.

Today, she said there may be circumstances beyond her control with work that might prevent her from coming up for a visit next month, even though I literally JUST BOUGHT HER TICKET at 1 AM today. I was a bit devastated. Oxymoronic as that sounds. But I guess she was just trying to prepare me for the worst, in case we had to reschedule, and I had to wait even longer to see her again.

I am trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that she WANTS to see us all again. Somehow, hopefully, it will all work out, and I will spend my birthday with her.

But I suppose it would also be healthy to come up with other things to be thankful for that don’t center her, as much as I can, to try to shift my focus a bit and help me feel more independent. So… here goes. The humble things for which I’m thankful today.

Different flavor, and not my photo (found on Pexels), BUT… I had cracked open an ice cold Sparkling Ice + Caffeine this morning, then accidentally left it open and unattended at my computer desk. Not only did it NOT get knocked over by the cat… it was still fizzy when I got home hours later, and honestly, still fairly tasty, even warm.

Spotify’s Daylist whipped me up a gorgeous playlist choc full of goth tonight… a nice smattering of classics I already know and love, some covered by new-to-me artists, and some fun surprises. Grateful for that, too. Music is healing.

Preview Link:

Also, the new clothes we (Dad and I… I wanted an errand buddy, and he agreed to ride along while I drove), picked up today feel so amazing on… the new t-shirt, and a pair of bootcut jeans in a “short” cut so I can wear them with my “flippies” (flip-flops), and not have to worry about tripping all over myself. I do love a good bootcut jean. Once I’ve tidied myself up a bit, I’ll see if I can’t get a full-body shot in the new ‘fit. Maybe tomorrow.

Stopped at the library today to drop some things off. On a hunch, I checked to see if our library system has Maggie Nelson’s Bluets. Indeed, they do! A whole slim volume of vignettes contemplating the color blue. Did I mention it before? I forget. Started reading it in a Barnes & Noble but didn’t buy it that day. SO… will be finishing it through the library. May still buy a copy at some point. It’s pretty incredible.

I also picked up another collection of poetry to tide me over once I’m done with the last one, and I FINALLY started reading the novel I checked out in April and had already renewed at least once. Luckily no one else was waiting for it.

It’s pretty good! The seemingly only non-psychically-gifted adult daughter in a line of psychic vampires, and a hawk shifter dude upon whom she left an intense impression as a teen, reconnect many years later as adults. The Only Purple House in Town by Ann Aguirre.

I did discover I missed my window to submit some poetry to a UK-based literary magazine, for their themed issue about Nightlife. I was trying to work up some nonfiction to send in, along with it, and never got that finished, then forgot. So that was a little disappointing.

But I do still have time to submit to the LGBTQIA+ art show here in town. And I have exactly ONE untouched canvas. And some paint. I just don’t know what I have to say visually about representation versus erasure.

Though having framed it that way, I’m picturing an abstract of a girl where half the image is painted in and fully formed, in vivid colors, and the other half is just pencil sketching. Erasure. Could I pull that off technically? Do I have the skill? I could try.

At the risk of seeming like “that girl,” I’m also thankful for the pizza I heated up today. I’m a HUGE fan of the Private Selection frozen pizzas at our local grocery store. Check out this loveliness… I shared some with my mom when she stopped by. Mediterranean-inspired vegetable pizza. I finally understand what they mean by something tasting “bright.” The veggies definitely gave bright.

I’m also thankful for the time spent with family today, and the errands completed. Picked up my clothes and my meds, and got to linger at the library all by myself and soak up the vibes, before I stopped over at their house.

All that said, I think it’s time to retreat and read, and maybe contemplate my art submission. Grateful for y’all, as well, wherever and whenever you’re reading this from. Peace!