I picked up Maggie Nelson’s Bluets from the library today and read about half of it. It’s incredible. I love it so much. There’s a poetic sense of progression the further you get, even though each snippet is its own vignette, as well. And the author mentioned one of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs, “Famous Blue Raincoat,” which was also eventually covered by Tori Amos.

It’s progressive and sex-positive, and weaves philosophy and art theory and a dash of science with personal observations and correlations. The project came about at least in part because of the dissolution of a romantic relationship, which I can appreciate.

That’s what fueled my massive thesis project, as well. The gist of my thesis was that reframing tragedy/trauma as an underworld journey helps in overcoming it. I don’t know that anything is actually that simple, but having the project over which to OBSESS likely to an unhealthy degree was possibly cathartic in its own way. I like having something to get lost in. If not a crush, a project or projects.

About midday, I fell into a real slump. Started running down the worn-out thought track that I have nothing going for me, my life is boring and empty, blah blah, no reason to live. SO, while my phone was charging, I booted up the Canva website and retooled the cover design I might use if I fail to place my poetry collection in progress with any traditional publishers.

Might have to write a fresh poem about the subject of the original art piece centered on the cover to tie it all neatly together. Though I’d have to keep it at least passably anonymous in case he’s still using the same username on socials. The vibe of the sketch just fits so well with the tone I was trying to achieve with the poetry. Here it be:

We’ll see if I make further tweaks. But at least if I did end up self-publishing, I could include some things that might be a smidge too controversial for other places. Maybe my thinking on that is overly conservative. I don’t know. Bluets certainly pulled no punches. At least it hasn’t as yet.

Mkay I took a moment aside from working on this post and roughed out a poem all about him, and the timeframe. Though I suppose I left out the desperation of single parenthood happening in the background. But that’s okay.

In my submission for that piece of art, when I tried to get it added to an edition of a literary magazine, I mentioned how I’d learned from the experience not to let other people get your kicks for you, as Bob Dylan cautions. Trying to live by that, even if my life has been mostly on the mellower side as of late.

I guess there’s a whole spectrum of “kicks” to be had, and they don’t all look like me partying like a rockstar. LOL. I imagine it’s okay to let that part of life go.

There’s likely a poem in that, too, somewhere.

I just searched “rockstar” on pexels and came across a very racy photoshoot! So no, I won’t be sharing that. HA! Not sure how the WordPress Police feel about electrical tape neutralizing the impact of a bare nipple, but it feels risky. Plus I don’t know… is that really the vibe of this blog?! Likely not.

That’s a little better. Closing out with the King! Now I have a vague craving for a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. HA! Have an amazing evening. Elvis has left the building.