Open-Mindedness

What quality do I value most in a friend?

Definitely open-mindedness.

My long-distance bestie exemplifies this quality. She’ll still call me out from time to time if she thinks I need to hear something I don’t want to hear. But she also lets my freak flag fly free. And we send each other ALL the fun memes. Plenty of vampire content etc. Yes I know I have mentioned vampires a LOT lately lol…

Without going so far as to enable truly destructive behavior or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, policing my actions like a parent out of misguided concern, she lets me be myself.

She’s been there for me through some terrible ordeals, and never once flinched. We’ve both grown and evolved since our friendship began, but our friendship has grown, too, to accommodate these shifts.

I suppose it helps that we have a lot of emotional overlap as single parents and creatives, etc., and similar childhood experiences, even if her approach to life and its challenges differs from mine in some ways. But that’s entirely okay. It helps at times to see another perspective.

And now, both our kiddos have grown and flown the nest, though hers is home for the summer. But we’re also sharing in that sense of sadness and change from the end of their respective childhoods, and a change in self-perception and identity as our role as mom is redefined.

Going back to my former point about seeing alternate points of view… Not that she never just takes my side and empathizes. She does that, too. Her greatest skill in communication, however (if you don’t count spicy memes, which I am inclined to include), lies in playing devil’s advocate.

She’s far from my only friend, but she’s my most late-night, no-holds-barred, no-such-thing-as-TMI friend. I feel like everyone would benefit from at least one of those. Thankful for her presence in my life every damn day.

We also really enjoy teasing meaning out of one another’s remembered dreams and superstitious experiences. You can’t do that with just anyone.

I can also be slow to trust, so I’m sure part of my gratitude is familiarity from time elapsed and shared. But I’m trying to branch out and widen my support network.

So if you happen to be one of my OTHER friends reading this, just know I love you, too. Not sure if anyone I know IRL checks this site on the regular, but just in case. Swear I’m doing my best to reach out more often to y’all, and offer my support in return. I would benefit from a wider spectrum of conversations and experiences, rather than staying entrenched within my comfort zone. Working on that. Bear with me.

I suppose an open mind pairs well with an open heart.