Today, it’s actually mostly sunny, I think. I only popped out long enough to get groceries, but I may head back out soonish to enjoy the day. Feels like early fall here after having been in the nineties or something crazy like that.
BUT… I was looking at the photos I had taken of the storm clouds rolling in, and listening to my 90’s Pop Rom-Com playlist that starts with “Only Happy When It Rains” by Garbage. So, I took one of my photos and added some layers to it to make a graphic for this post.
Beyond that, I was thinking about what that really means, if you twist it around a little bit– not that you’re ONLY happy when it rains, but that you’re happy even WHEN it does.
I can’t imagine I’ll become a 100% bliss bunny, since I can be a very serious person at times LOL… but here’s where I’m headed with this:
I had an outstanding therapy session today. She is SUPER proud of the work I put in, in my DBT workbook, and the little changes I have already started making, aligned with all of that.
And I really made her laugh. There was (I kid you not) a part of one worksheet where it asked you to rate the degree to which you had actively worked on giving yourself a life worth living, in the past versus the present. I felt rather attacked LOL… like, I’m trying to SURVIVE here!
Which I suppose means I have my work cut out for me. But I digress.
I skipped that part and instead worked on identifying what I presently value and how to implement those values into my life.
Some of my values seemed kind of interconnected, more so than how they’re laid out in the workbook. For example, (Value #1) spirituality and creativity to me are entwined. I want to make more room for both in my life.
To that end, I am working on a journal full of coloring pages and odds and ends that I can add poetry to, and answers to prompts from one of the books I’m reading right now, and more. The coloring pages came from a book I ordered, and I’m pasting them in as I go. The rest, I’m adding things I find online that resonate, and adding journal entries and reflections, etc.
I also added Halloween prep to that category, and making something to submit for the October-themed art show. Still not sure what I want to make. October has such a layered vibe. But that’s all part of my ooky-spooky spirituality.
And dream interpretation. That’s a biggie, even if I didn’t add it to the sheet.
NOW…. Value #2: Fun and Pleasure
I want to have more fun. Let my hair down. Spend more time adventuring with friends. Try new restaurants and cafes. Go on drives. I could probably come up with a very long list of all the activities that could fit here, but the workbook has already done that, somewhat, under the list of pleasurable activities, or whatever they call it.
I’d like to weave a little more enjoyment into every aspect my life.
Trying to make home a happier place to be, and really appreciate my time there, while also venturing out into the world to talk to people and do things.
Working on making more out of solo meal time. Savoring what I eat, trying maybe to eat a little healthier, etc. All the good things one can do at home.
After that sheet, where it asked you to come up with small actions you could take to achieve your goal of honoring your chosen value (I picked the spirituality/creativity one, since that felt more immediately pressing, but it was almost a tie), there was one about relationships.
I suppose I could’ve added things about trying to strengthen all my friendships there, but what seemed more important was strengthening some boundaries with family. Realizing it’s okay to just be home when I have nowhere else to be, that I can do things for fun on my own if and when I feel like it and have the means to do so.
And that it might just be good for me to spend some time at my place. Just vibin. Chillin with the cat. She loves it when I’m home.
So I don’t always have to pop over to see them. Space can be a good thing.
AND I am making a better effort to stand up for myself when my feelings are hurt. That’s important too.
So yeah… all that together, as part of an ongoing effort toward change, combined with using Finch to help improve my hygiene habits and reward myself for accomplishing care tasks… might add up to being happy even when it rains. Even with my daughter living a thousand miles away.
GRATITUDE LIST FOR TODAY:
- Feeling validated and encouraged by my therapist
- Her suggestion that I share some of my planned action steps and the action steps I have already taken, with kiddo, to reassure her that I am making progress and taking depression seriously
- Laughing during the appointment, and crying just a little
- Being well-stocked on groceries so I can eat at home for a bit
- The simple pleasure of using colored pencils on small details and fleshing out a very detailed page…the slow build of the aesthetic and the sense of accomplishment when you finish a whole page. And just playing with colors.
And a moment to enjoy some herbal tea certainly never hurt, either. Had two cups before I nipped out for groceries. Hope the rest of your day is amazing.
All the Bright and Sparkly Things 
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