Tears in Rain, and Havensong

On the way home tonight, I happened upon a Queensryche song, “Another Rainy Night.” Couldn’t let that one pass me by, as I REALLY love “Silent Lucidity.” Ducked back into my Rainy Daze playlist and added it.

Then, I decided I wanted to keep the play length nice and neat. Tried to find enough songs to add exactly one hour, putting it at 14 hours instead of precisely 13, before Queensryche.

Fell into a deep, deep rabbit hole of rain and storm songs. Found a few playlists I hadn’t noticed the last time. Discovered there are actually some bluesier or bluegrassier country songs that I enjoy. Lots of those mention rain. Expanding my horizons, once again.

It is now over 18 hours long.

Still not back to an even number of hours.

But I also recalled the “Tears in Rain” monologue at the end of Blade Runner, and found the Vangelis song that samples Rutger Hauer’s dialogue. That one is just before the final track, one of the bookend rain sound effect arrangements.

I do love a playlist that takes days to get through.

Last night, I had roughed out some lyrics for the song Dorian sings to Haven, that he had written about her. I’m calling it “Havensong (What Was I Before You).”

They’re still in progress. Started out in Google Docs, with a separate file, because I wanted room to sprawl, away from the story I will eventually fold them into.

Then, they began to feel like a poem that I needed to write on paper, and rewrite, and add to, all messy-like, in different directions and jagged angles, like I do. Made some progress on them in a notebook. The final draft will be typed.

Hey, how did I only just now find the option to add poetry/song lyrics with appropriate spacing? Dang. Here’s a bit:

Actually, we’ll see. I might just use this space to tinker with what I have so far, then copy and paste it into Google Docs.

---

Havensong (What Was I Before You)

Shadows twist
about your hips
avenging angel
slender wrists
tangled curls
wingèd, twirl,
ashen-smudged
jeweled blood
what fresh hell
did you claw
through to 
find me here?
What arcane spell
whispered into
which god's ear?

Is it fear or
hope for ecstasy?
Parted lips,
widening autumn
eyes. The whole
world shifts as I
stand before you
(before you).
What was I 
before you?

Desolate, the
question writ in 
your expression,
pondering the 
night's intentions.
I'm just wondering
how to free you
from that scarlet
dress. Were I to
ask, would you
say "yes" as I
tremble there
before you?
(before you)
Who was I 
before you?

I would make a 
temple from the 
cradle of your thighs,
worship there night
after night, your 
satisfaction my sole
religion, dispelling
moonlight's cold
oblivion. How 
did I live before 
you? (before you)

So much time
before you
(before you).

I lay my eternity
humbly at your
feet, implore you
with this score.
Without you,
every midnight's
cursed and hollow.
When did I ever
truly feel before you?
(before you)

Wherever you go,
I would follow,
til the universe
unwinds, or you
abandon me to
my former sorrows,
if our love should
end after but one
hour. Grant me 
this and I'll 
surrender, 
now and ever. 
Just one evening 
to remember.
You hold all
the power,
my dewy-
skinned,
night-
blooming 
flower.  

Imagine my 
awestruck 
surprise
when you 
said never
we would sever. 

Where was I
before you?
(before you)

Sure as what lies 
up above echoes 
down below, 
endless the
thirsting kisses 
to swallow. 
One hundred years 
within your arms
or more, whatever
may have been 
before, be banished
on the morrow. 

---

Still rough around the edges, but it’s getting better.

Maybe the words, themselves, don’t sound hella emotional, but I am imagining Dorian placing himself mentally back to how he felt before he met her. He was involved with Lysander, but that relationship wasn’t a healthy one. Who knows what led him to stay with Lysander as long as he did?

Lysander wasn’t very kind to Haven, but I guess he had some kind of hold on Dorian, regardless, up until the fight to end all fights, as they say, when Lysander issued an ultimatum and asked Dorian to choose between them. In spite of a former open-relationship agreement.

I suppose I may have to explore all that, as well, at some point. I could write some dialogue, something brief, summing up pre-Haven Dorian, to flesh that out a bit further.

From what I recall, he met the guy(s) who first joined the band, while he was out with Haven, so I believe he knew her first. They wouldn’t know much about how desperate he felt up until then.

Then Jared comes along and upends his world all over again. The poor, moody bastard, having to cope with intense feelings for now two loves of his life LOL.

Given all that, it makes sense that any threat to Haven would really rock him, and not in the good way.

It bears some thought, for sure.

I may have actually found a pic of someone who gives Haven vibes (even if Haven is essentially Star from The Lost Boys with different hair, and edgier fashion sense).

It’s a little hard to tell in the dim light of the photo if her hair is ALL red, or if the red is streaking through dark brown or black. I’ll take some poetic license and say it looks red and black streaked to me, like Haven’s hair.

So: Haven?

[They’ve discussed how getting fresh piercings as vampires would work. So that could be something I explore, assuming everyone makes it far enough through the adventures for that kind of casual, playful fun, again. Unless I go back in and add it to their jaunts in Los Angeles prior to the scenes aboard the train. We’ll see.]

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