***Does this need a trigger warning? There’s a random snake pic in here.***
Firstly, I noticed an email from Disney+ that my account pause had only just started this morning. So, I could have indulged in some Star Wars on May the 4th or Revenge of the 5th. Or both.
Will have to pick up some Blu-ray or DVD copies at some point. Meanwhile, I DID also see a very snazzy edition of The Lost Boys on Amazon. I think it was 4K and Blu-ray. Two editions in one. Gorgeous packaging.
I have a DVD, but it’s scratched right where Michael goes back to the vampire lair and finds Star in bed.
He has so many questions about his transformation. “What’s happening to me, Star? What’s happening?”
She mumbles that she can’t tell him and doesn’t know how to help him, reaching out for him. I think he makes one more brief attempt to question her then gives up once they kiss. AND the rest was history.
It’s a gorgeous love scene, if fairly PG-13.
Which is fine. I don’t need everything to be lurid.
But on my disc, the scene skips. BOOOOO!
And the last time I tried streaming with Prime, it glitched immediately AFTER that scene. TWICE.
I had someone ask me about Mystery Train. Gave an honest answer about the plot. Or at least, the vague story idea behind the series.
I suppose I could’ve stuck with vamps on a train (sounds like a Samuel L. Jackson thing– “someone get these mother-effing vamps off this mother-effing train,” a la Snakes On a Plane).
OOOH Hey check out the plane pic I found! Kind of gives reaching out just at point of attack. LOL. Snakes are cool, though, I suppose. Kiddo adores them.
Now, I kind of wish vampires were public knowledge in this fictive world, just so I could paraphrase that line…
Onward…
I have kind of had it with stepping lightly around guys in regards to dating. Not that I’m ever rude or cruel. I just don’t see the point anymore in pretending to be less than who I am.
During my casual dating heyday, I would wait until I had already established a connection to mention that I had a child (less significant romantically now, but she was younger, then).
I also didn’t tell any of them that I was bisexual right away. Even guys who don’t outright list “straight girls only” in their “looking for,” sometimes find it threatening.
PRIDE baybee! Don’t wanna have to hide my rainbows these days.
Speaking of which, I saw a meme today where Geminis were depicted as a rainbow pouring into a coffee mug, Gay caffeine. I can dig it. The below pic isn’t that, but it IS pretty badass.
I was also very careful with my diction. No big words. Didn’t talk about my education. Didn’t want them worrying I may be smarter.
Only two of them ever learned I have a form of bipolar disorder (the exact diagnosis got fuzzier over time, with new symptoms). They were the most significant of the lot, so they got me undiluted, with alllll my mood swings.
One of them, I stunned when I told him I had burned his business card, in a fit of anger. The other may have witnessed me completely falling apart when he’d gone, unless he just ignored the messages. I kind of hope he did.
Space.
So yes, the guy who asked what I was writing. He effed right off back wherever he came from. I guess bisexual polyamorous vampires aren’t for everyone. Le sigh. But I can’t imagine many straight guys willingly reading it. Not that I ever would have expected him to?
Shame for him, I suppose. I’m pretty imaginative, when the mood strikes.
Not to mention, when I’m in love, I pull out all the stops. Painted abstract portraits, poetry, gifts. Things you’d only get from an artist, with a passion for pairing fun finds with people in my life.
Here’s a journal sketch I made of the gothy/vampy dude. Not my finest work. It’s older. But I wanted to pick something I don’t think I’ve shared yet.
It’s hard to find that precise amount of space between myself and a partner, to where I don’t feel anxious that they’re drifting (maybe abandonment issues, compounded by very hot-and-cold relationships if you can call them that)… or like I’m overwhelmed and can’t breathe. I also gravitate toward high-octane personalities. Hence the overwhelming. Balance is dynamic. Ever-shifting.
Not to mention… if I’m honest… I’m not exactly low-maintenance, low-drama, myself, but I can fake it for a time, or shelve my “crazy” in situations where it’s clear my partner needs some tending.
Eventually, it sneaks out.
I imagine some of that sounds very red flag-y. Alas.
There’s that great Jack Sparrow meme about like “when she’s got enough red flags to set sail, but you want to be her captain.”
I can’t be the only one who sometimes enjoys a bit of drama.
Complicated people to puzzle out and through.
Would I still engage with as much effort as when I was younger?
Maybe. Time will tell.
OH for the curious, I did ultimately redo the collage. Didn’t try to match the first one. Just started fresh. Tidier, but all the angles on the first one were fun.
Had the latest Sleep Token on while typing. Will have to listen more tomorrow. It be bedtime. Even the cat is dozing, on my desk. I’m balancing the keyboard half on it, and half in one hand, while typing with the other.
The album: Some of the songs, I really enjoyed, even half-distracted.
Check it out!!!
Rock on with your bad selves.
I know Dorian Volker would.
All the Bright and Sparkly Things 
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