Now that the sad news is out of the bag… life does, indeed, continue to go on, even amidst all the loss, even as my mom has said she was worried about what was going to happen to her (for all her minimizing her symptoms and trying to avoid going to the hospital)… and my friend’s father having passed.
I was fully prepared to let her off the hook from having to throw me the promised party. If that had happened, I was ready to go to a book signing instead, by myself. That would’ve been fun, too, I think, but in a different way. I may still pop over to that bookstore and see if they have any signed copies of the book left over from the event. We’ll see.
Just checked out two fresh library books. Elbows deep in one. Fluffy witchy romance. Very fun.
SO… Friday the 13th was my birthday.
I worked the night before, and discovered a bag of Seroogy’s candy waiting for me in my locker, when I got there, and stashed my purse. It was an INTENSE shift, especially after close, and I blew through all but one stray Jelly Belly jelly bean when I got home. But that was also partly because I didn’t have much left for groceries and wasn’t up to a food run of any kind.
Definitely not setting myself up for further weight loss success there LOL… but I will let it slide. I’m working on restocking the kitchen, and such. Feeling a head cold either coming on or in progress, so I’m not up to very much action, at the moment, in regards to handling grocery shopping. Always something I find rather overwhelming, even on a good day. Still grateful I have the resources to GET the food, though.
I stayed up past midnight the night before to ring in the precise moment of my birthday, and I hopped online to wish a happy birthday to my “birthday twin,” Chris Evans. Me and Cap.
It was so cute. The year I told my dad of this tradition, me leaving birthday wishes for the Captain America actor, he was outraged I never heard back.
The following morning, I slept in, then headed to Starbucks, for the first of the day’s birthday freebies. I never did hear from Panera about a free bakery item, so I got a breakfast burrito along with my free Venti Summer Berry Lemonade Refresher. It looked a little different. They may have mistakenly given me the alternate drink with the coconut milk, I think it is. But it was still VERY delicious. I carefully made sure I got to every last piece of boba, at the bottom, mixed in with the ice.
Enjoyed that at my parents’ house, partly because I’d left my purse there the night before. Been forgetting a lot of little things recently, but I think coming down with something could be a big factor.
From THERE, it was off to Bath & Body Works, for another Wallflower refill– Whipped Honey & Vanilla (I just swapped mine out… Eucalyptus Rain is going right now), and a foaming hand soap. Can never have too many of those. They last FOREVER. This time, I chose a Churro Cinnamon Bun soap.
I THINK I had to buy at least one thing to qualify to use my birthday reward? That could be wrong. But I only paid for one of those. The more expensive one was free.
(That also earned me an additional regular reward, which I went back to spend today… I had been 6 points away from one of those… so TODAY, I got some Warm Vanilla Sugar stuff for the shower).
I nearly stopped into Hallmark to look for stuff for my dad, but I had some trouble locating my coupons in my email. So I decided to be a little selfish, and take care of his stuff today (Saturday), instead. (Today, I realized I had been searching by the precise name of my local Hallmark, not Hallmark generally, which was how the rewards were listed… so I saved quite a bit).
Next stop was 5 Below. I was hoping they might still be offering $5 ear piercing, but she said it had been about a year since they stopped. Not enough interest.
A friend I actually used to work with at a jewelry store that offered piercing, suggested a guy to go to, who works at a couple places. So I may look into that. I’m sure she knows her shizz.
I found a ridiculously-blingy cowboy hat for the 4th of July, but I refuse to share that today. Maybe I wasn’t physically up to attending any protests, but I can do that much. SO… you’ll have to use your imagination on that one.
Yeah, I suppose looking patriotic isn’t an inherent endorsement of our current administration, but all the same… I will wait. I did share a pic of it to Instagram yesterday. But not today, of all days.
Here are the magnets I bought to add to my growing collection on the fridge:
Then, I made myself an appointment online for a haircut at a salon that was surprisingly close to my parents’ house. Less than 5 minutes away, according to Maps. Took me a little longer because I accidentally drove past it the first time. It’s situated kind of between two parts of a car wash/maintenance business, and shares their driveway.
She was so nice. And while I know it’s her job to sell extra products to clients, she offered me a leave-in treatment for damaged hair, that feels SO so good in my hair.
Here’s the end result. New hair, who dis?
After my FABULOUS haircut experience, I swung back to pick up my mom so we could grab lunch, and I could get my free Applebee’s dessert.
I had a “dirty” diet soda, and chicken fingers. Tried to do the All You Can Eat but couldn’t even finish round one, even having only had the breakfast burrito. Still had some fries left. But I did save room for the birthday sundae.
It was actually rather cool here both yesterday and today, so from there, I went home to pick up a jacket. And I did my makeup, etc., to prepare for the birthday party my friend was throwing me at her mom’s. But the joke was on me… my mom had left her Applebee’s leftovers in my car, and *I* had left my new water bottle in their fridge. SO, I drove BACK again for about the millionth time that day, before heading to the party.
Since I was heading west from their house, and didn’t take the freeway, I ran into some construction delays, but I got where I was going, eventually. Just forgot about the lane closures. Oh, well.
THE PARTY!!! OMG!!!
Unicorn decorations EVERYWHERE!
Stuff she’d picked up last year, for the party we had thought we might have while my daughter was in town, but that we never found time for.
It was a little sad that I couldn’t be with kiddo this time, too, but my friends did an amazing job of making the best out of it with me. BOTH my friend AND her mom bought me presents!!!
I think those watermelon earrings might be one of my fave things from my gifties, but there were plenty of cool things. She gave me a little catnip toy for Unity, and her mom gave me magnetic clips like for notes for the fridge, or whatnot, that look like cats. And a knitted cat coaster.
We played BINGO, and I won a makeup brush that looks like a rose. Reminded me very strongly of Beauty & the Beast.
Her friend works at Domino’s at the moment, and brought us a TON of food!!! We all thanked him repeatedly. There were Parmesan Bites, TWO pizzas, one with so, so many toppings. That was the one I had a few pieces of. And brownies AND Lava Cakes.
I had a Lava Cake for my birthday treat, and we found candles for it, in one of the kitchen drawers.
My friend even read my fortune.
Some of the cards along the outer edges were unlucky ones. We’ll see if that all plays out in the fullness of time. The ones along the outer rim in relation to the querent card, are less impactful, and less immediate.
But the ones clustered around me were all really good.
We drove down the way to check on some friends of the family, one of whom is like a second father to my friend Neva, and had also recently been in the hospital. Got updates from him.
Then, we went to a nearby pub, and Neva bought me some soda, and a Shirley Temple. The bartender didn’t know them by that name, and I panicked, thinking I would have to tell him exactly how to make it, when I have only a general idea of what’s in them. But he recovered quickly and said, “I know what a kiddie cocktail is.”
Turns out, a former boss of Neva’s father was there that night. She bought Neva a drink, and later paid for a round, for the whole bar.
I was driving home rather late, and nervous about deer, since that area is more out in the country, but I made it home safe. Saw two people pulled over by the police, off the main drag I was heading down. Even without having had any alcohol, I was still UBER careful. And I shot Neva (and my daughter) a quick text to let them know precisely when I got home.
I stayed up WAAAAAY later than I should have. Chatting with peeps, then reading. Didn’t get any writing done yesterday, but I made up for that some, today, before I left the apartment. May add more to that story, in a bit. I’m sneezy and sniffly and a bit mentally foggy. But I do have caffeine handy, if necessary.
Had Dayquil/Nyquil. Not sure if I tossed it because the Nyquil left me totally useless the day after, on top of my night meds, or if I just can’t find it. Tried non-drowsy allergy stuff last night. May take that again tonight. Does it help? I’m not sure. It’s a medication that worked REALLY well for me in the past, back when it was prescription strength, but the over-the-counter version doesn’t seem as potent.
That brings us to TODAY!!!
My bday present to myself (not counting the stuff I paid for, from Bath & Body Works, and 5 Below) arrived at the parental abode this afternoon.
My mom found the set “depressing,” but I told her, “They’re spooky!”
An old supervisor of mine and I had a conversation about skulls, etc. I had once told her maybe when I got older, I would grow out of my dark side. She vehemently disagreed, saying I’ll be in my 80’s, surrounded by skulls, and photos of my grandkids LOL. The grandkids part, not so much, but definitely still have LOTS of skulls around.
Then, I drove to the nearby Hallmark for gifties for my dad. Father’s Day and birthday goodness.
AND the extra free stuffs from Bath & Body Works.
Here’s some of what I got my dad. He was so thrilled with everything.
The socks were in one of the sale sections. I wandered around for a LONG time before I noticed them. I wasn’t sure if he would like them or not, but he REALLY did! Hopefully they fit. They appear unisex and say they fit “most.”
The other cards, one was a licensed Indiana Jones birthday card, and the other had one of those wearable buttons poking through the front. From the cover of the card, it LOOKED like it was saying he was a number one dad, and suggested the button was something he could wear on his special day, to let everyone know what a great job he’d done as a dad. But when you open it, and see the WHOLE button, it actually says “My Daughter is #1.” LOL. He laughed a lot at that.
I had a coupon for a free Shoebox greeting card, so I got him a spare, from the cat. He liked that one a lot, too.
Then, I headed home, having forgotten the burger patty and veggies my dad had offered me while I was over there, that I had meant to take back with me. I did pick up Noodles and a free Iced Coffee from McDonald’s, but that was more like a late lunch. Never actually had dinner.
Foggy, and forgetful.
Also realized I left the bag all the Hallmark stuff had been stashed in, over there, and there was a coupon in it. Oh, well. They may keep the bag. It was a pretty nice and sturdy one.
Then, I came home, and sadness and emptiness descended, once the flurry of shopping and gift-giving, and the mild caffeine buzz, had worn off. I find it hard to take care of myself here, because there’s no one around to care if I do, or not. I’m not sure why that seems to matter so much, but it does.
I have my Finch birb to help hold me accountable and can reach out to friends for support. And I check in with long-distance-bestie about household care tasks at times. We cheer each other on.
Almost forgot to open Finch on my birthday, until I saw a post on Facebook in the official Finch group, from someone else who ALSO had a Friday the 13th birthday.
I left Misty in her PJ’s since I have the weekend off. I reasoned at least one of us ought to stay in sleep stuff all weekend, even if I have to get dressed now and then.
I suppose I am trying REALLY hard to be excited about all the bounty of amazing STUFF I got for my birthday, and the care and consideration that went into all of it. And the fact that I still have MOAR birthday freebies to gather. Don’t even know if I will make it through all of them. Cookie at Subway. Root Beer Float at A&W. And on and on.
But people are more important than stuff.
And my mom isn’t doing so well, even if she’s recovered for the time being.
And kiddo is like a thousand miles away. With her cat needing so much care, I don’t know that she would come up, any time soon, even if I did have the cash for the ticket. They’re already not going to Texas for her boyfriend’s birthday.
That was all I really wanted. All I really want. To see my daughter. And I can’t. And I don’t know when I will. Maybe not for a long time. Maybe not until 2026.
It’s all just hitting me again. But I think it’s better to feel the feels than hold them in. So I’m listening to Songs to Help Me Cry (playlist). Not that I’ve been crying this whole time.
Forgot some of what I had in checking at the moment was earmarked for what I’d charged on credit for my health insurance premium. But I should still be able to cover that, too.
Had a coupon for Noodles. The coffee was free. And while I went a little hog wild getting stuff for my dad, I didn’t spend much on me today. Just stuff for him, and the money sent to kiddo for restaurant dinners. To get them over the hump of the bad news.
I don’t regret any of that.
Will just have to work hard and try to keep saving, bit by bit. And pay down slowly-escalating credit. I did slide a big chunk onto one card, after payday. That will help. Will just have to chill on retail charging, until that one is back to zero, and I can pay off statement balances monthly. Or just kinda cut myself off for a bit.
Kiddo’s new two pairs of shorts should arrive tomorrow. She’s super excited about that, even with everything else going on. I guess she already showed the screenshots from the website to her boyfriend, and he said they looked cute and very comfy. So far, she’s been wearing the bleachy denim ones a lot. The bleach spills reminded me of cow print. I’ll have to tell her that. That was part of why I thought she’d like them so much. She’s a cowgirl at heart.
I wrote a poem about that, actually.
Been gathering my poems and rereading them.
I’m not sure if I like the tone of all of them. Some feel rather mean-spirited. I don’t think I want to put that out into the world. And some are just ridiculously racy. I’m iffy on those, too, even if that kind of content has been super popular with some of the lit mags, in the past.
Will have to ponder further, and keep writing, and see what comes. Focus on the deeper stuff. Not necessarily shy away from anything unpleasant, but still try to come at it from a place of emotional generosity. If I can often do that for my most notorious of exes, I should be able to do it for other loved ones, too.
Well, the other songs on the playlist failed to deliver in full, but I just started BAWLING to Bon Jovi’s “Wild is the Wind.” Memories.
It’s romantic to project all that onto the past, but I don’t know that I was as significant to my various peeps as the woman in the song seems to be.
Nothing to be done about that now.
Even I’m tired of mining all of that for “art.”
Not sure how fitting this is as a closing image, but I saw it and kind of liked it.
Straddles the line between romantic and vaguely kinky. Is that heart made out of snow? Might be, in which case, the gloves could be more for warmth than anything else. But all the black. Assuming it’s not a grayscale photo. It doesn’t look like one, I don’t think?
Many wishes for healing and joy to us all.
All the Bright and Sparkly Things 
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