Painting I found online. Dug the vibe. Just for fun.
Daily Prompt: On what subject(s) are you an authority?
Years ago, I would have said Jim Morrison/The Doors. I read a LOT of biographies, and poems. I researched what writers he considered influential to him creatively and read at least one work by each of them. Did most of this in high school. My passion-interests tend to become something akin to homework.
But I’ll admit that I was really surprised by a quote of his I found as an excerpt from a new biography. It sounded so grounded, and intellectual. Not a trace of psychedelia to be seen. So I guess he was a man of many, many facets.
Unless you believe the recent documentary that he’s still alive.
The back-to-back photos are pretty compelling, but I remain skeptical regardless.
I’m also more aware of their fuller discography now than I was when I was younger, thanks to Spotify, and digging up rarer tracks, to use as titles for my Rock is Undead series. If anything, however, I would conclude I’m more aware of how much I don’t know.
There also would have been a day I would have said, “MYSELF!” I fancied myself more self-aware “than the average bear.” Or even spirituality, or feeling out the vibes in a room, that sort of thing. Now, I wonder how much of being an empath was borne of a lack of boundaries between myself and others’ emotions, after a difficult childhood.
Also, I’ve conceded that some of the experiences I chalked up to spiritual awareness could have also been symptoms of my mental illness. I’m aware of the idea of non-consensual reality, and how that may suggest both could be true at once. But I don’t know that it’s healthy to intentionally pursue things that on the barest surface seem delusional, just because you can.
I don’t have the meanings of all 78 cards in a Tarot deck down pat. I don’t even remember the divinatory meanings of the comparably-fewer Futhark runes. I’ve forgotten a lot of what I taught myself about witchcraft, through trial and error, and a LOT of reading. I still dabble, and would like to dive back in. Never too late, I suppose.
And as for myself, I no longer think you can truly see an accurate reflection in the mirror.
I suppose there is the inner observer, neither your thoughts nor your emotions. But she’s still fairly elusive for me. I’ve had stolen moments here or there.
I’ve not tried my hand at anything like a souffle, but for the most part, if I have a recipe, I can make it. I impressed some Hispanic coworkers with my chicken mole and from-scratch Spanish rice (though these MANY years later, it has occurred to me it was rude not to bring some for EVERYONE… even if that would have been extremely challenging). I nearly killed at least 2 if not 3 blenders in the process of the mole, even though I believe they all claimed to double as food processors. Au contraire, mon frere.
I can also rock Shrimp Etouffee and Red Beans and Rice, even if I typically cheat and don’t use raw, uncooked beans. AND the one year, I made alla that with a chocolate mousse. Lemme tell you, whipping cream into peaks is NOT for the faint of heart. Or the weak of arm.
I have a precious photo of kiddo in a high chair with mousse smeared all over her face.
But there are a lot of cooking skills I haven’t developed. From time to time, I do dabble making things from a mass of leftover items. Generally, I prefer to work from a recipe. I can bake fairly well, too. Have made my fair share of cookies and such. And some homemade birthday cakes. Not with fancy frosting tips. I tried to make an icing rose and accidentally used the technique she wasn’t teaching us. Then, the cats ate my handiwork, when no one was looking.
I know many say cooking and baking are such very different skills. That’s likely true. There’s more science to baking, I think. Yeast mechanics. Measuring. Which might be math, not science. Still.
I suppose I hesitate to list cooking as a skill of mine, since it isn’t something I do super often. I’m trying to do more of it. I used to love finding exotic soup recipes and such. But I am just as apt to grab something convenient, and possibly doctor it up a little, or not.
Books? There are SOOOO many books in the world. I know the authors I’ve already discovered, but I’m not up to date on what’s coming out. I once posted a “new” book to a romance book chat, since it was in the new books section of my public library, only to be told (politely) that the entire series had already been released (but that the audiobooks were phenomenal).
OOOH HEY a cover of NIN’s “Closer.” Nice. By Palaye Royale. Listening to my No Place in This World playlist, because I feel VERY angsty and embittered and disgruntled. But I won’t go into all the reasons behind that here. Who wants to read all of that? Certainly I have found putting it all in print just compounds the emotions rather than releasing them. I think journaling is a better medium for that sort of thing.
Even if I love goth music, (not that NIN is goth), and have for decades, I wouldn’t consider myself any kind of expert. I’m sure there are a slew of bands I’ve never heard of, in addition to the new ones coming out ALL the time (like Vision Video, who I found out about from the lead’s Goth Dad Instagram posts dedicated to “Baby Bats” everywhere). I interacted with him once on Instagram. He’d been complaining about feeling old as sh!t. I had some pithy comment about his post, then added, “And I’m older. So maybe next time, don’t feel so bad.” He was greatly amused. Made my day.
At 17, I had a supervisor compliment my skills with makeup, based on my Halloween look, where I did myself up like a Harlequin clown. And I can do some eye makeup looks fairly well. But for me, it’s more play than technique. I know what I like, and sometimes, I just experiment. I try highlighter in small ways but would be utterly LOST trying to do the whole contouring thing to its fullest potential. It looks GREAT on other people. I suppose I’ve never had the patience to learn it. Taught myself easy werewolf makeup for Halloween, though. Gotta love YouTube.
There was also a time I would have claimed some expertise with vampire lore, but I think honestly I have barely scratched the surface there. There are SO many legends out there, both folkloric and pop cultural.
Ooooh very smoldering cover of “Where Did You Sleep Last Night” by Ramsey.
I guess in the end, I’m maybe not much of an expert at anything. I pick up a little knowledge here and there, about things that interest me at the time.
Even my understanding of poetry reflects personal preference for writing with a great deal of sensory detail and specificity. Sensual poetry. This is a bias I picked up in college, but there are books about writing I’ve read outside of school, that back it up.
There are nonetheless poems that lean more toward the abstract that are nonetheless considered great. I don’t mind abstract concepts in poetry, if they’re grounded in concrete symbolism of some kind. That’s me, however, and what works for me, as a reader.
My high school photography teacher praised my ability to arrange objects in aesthetically-pleasing ways. That came in handy as a game store employee, taking photos for our location’s Facebook banner, or shooting pics of individual products. I had a coworker who was great at it, too. But she very kindly said my banner pics blew everyone out of the water.
So, maybe aesthetics? I struggle to do photorealistic art without a really solid reference image, but I can collage and graphic design with the best of ’em. Nothing I have studied professionally, even if I briefly considered it, as a second attempted career, before realizing I would never make it through another round of college while enduring my present work schedule.
Otherwise, there’s Halloween. Not that I am an expert in the holiday or its origins, though I know a little about that. I guess I’m just talented at hodge-podge costume creation. A little bit of actual costume stuff, a little bit of regular clothes, a whole lot of imagination, maybe some makeup and wig. That’s more about interest than expertise, to me, even if I had a boss call me “The Queen of Halloween” (but we all know that’s really the smokin’ hawt Elvira).
Witness: the formerly-blonde me, sharing a Snapchat filter with the Elvira standee in my bathroom.
Told you she’s a babe.
Creative writing? Art? Always room for improvement, and imposter syndrome creeps in A LOT. Either I think what I make isn’t adequate, or that I don’t produce enough.
Creativity in general, perhaps, though my talents at creative problem solving seem insufficient at the moment. I’ve also been told I bring a lot of fun everywhere I go, but haven’t been feelin’ it, lately, Mr. Krabs.
You know what’s really and truly humbling, though? Doing a search on Pexels under “expert.” There are so very many things one can have expertise in, and most of them, I know nothing whatsoever about. Car maintenance? Surfing? Cutting hair? Lab work? Architecture?
It’s a good thing the world is so wide, and so open, full of so many different types of people, such that we have individuals out there who have learned about and experienced these things.
I’ll leave you with one last remark about something someone observed about me, which instills a curious amount of confidence in myself. I was in an office, meeting with a caseworker, and complimented the view out her window. Specifically, the architecture of a nearby building. She said something along the lines of, “That’s funny. It’s usually the men that mention the architecture.”
I like that I sometimes confound expectations.
To heck with the haters.
And now, I away, to read, and then to rest.
Progress, not perfection.
All the Bright and Sparkly Things 
Leave a comment